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Learning to Be an Active Listener Could Make You a Better Leader

Truly hearing and understanding others is a critical skill for today’s legislative staff managers.

By Brian Weber  |  December 11, 2024

The solution to better listening—a critical skill for today’s legislative staff managers—dates back more than 2,000 years.

“(Greek) Stoic philosopher Epictetus is credited with saying, ‘We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen more than we speak,’” Angela Andrews, NCSL professional development senior partner, told a Base Camp 2024 session on being a more mindful manager. “In fact, 2,000 years later, research backs up this point. The brain can take in up to 400 words per minute, while most people speak between 125 to 175 words per minute.”

Yet actively listening—truly hearing and understanding—still can seem hard, Andrews says. “Especially as a manager within your legislative environment, why is it so difficult to listen?”

There are a variety of everyday reasons for listening lapses, she says, including email, phone and text alerts and notifications that pop up during meetings. General workplace distractions exist as well, such as working alone remotely, or maybe in an office with an open floor plan where “there’s lots of things buzzing and happening.”

Personal situations can inadvertently get in the way, Andrews says. Maybe the weight of your own workload is too heavy. Perhaps numerous other tasks and responsibilities get in the way of listening.

“Maybe you are a doer as a manager and you are decisive and able to make quick decisions,” Andrews says. “But you’re listening to someone that you manage who’s more analytical, who likes to walk through every detail and every step of their research and analysis before making a decision.

“That can make it really hard and really difficult to listen.”

People need to think about obstacles to active listening—to direct reports, team members, supervisors, other colleagues and constituents.

There are two parts to active listening, Andrews says. The first: understanding a speaker’s point of view. The second, and most important: “that you convey to the speaker that you understand their point of view, not your point of view—their point of view,” she says.

To do that, consider the purpose of the conversation, Andrews says. Is the purpose of the conversation to advise, maybe to offer some guidance around a particular situation? Who is the focus of the conversation? Is the focus on me, the listener, or is the focus of the conversation on the speaker?

“Once you ask yourself those two questions, to really be focused and set your intention to listen, now is the time where you can truly pay attention to gestures,” she says.

Pay attention to a person’s body language, which accounts for more than 50% of communication, Andrews says. Are their arms crossed? Are they leaning back? Are they speaking in a very mild tone? Look at them for a sense of whether they are angry or feeling standoffish.

Or maybe you’re in a conversation with a direct report and they’re not making eye contact, they’re looking down, they’re looking away. Their arms may be hunched over. That can indicate they are reluctant to say something that really needs to be heard, she says.

And consider whether your arms are open, are you leaning in to the person, giving sincere eye contact and nodding your head when appropriate. “Those are all important gestures that show that you’re listening,” Andrews says.

But don’t stop there. Listening might seem like a silent activity, but active listeners aren’t just sponges absorbing information, Andrews says. “Instead, think of yourself as a trampoline, as somebody (with the) ability to give the speaker’s thought height, energy, acceleration and amplification.

“When you’re looking for understanding, you’re asking questions of the speaker,” she says. “Then you’re summarizing what you heard, and then you’re asking the speaker if you got it right.”

Lastly, after that conversation, listening is again recommended—to yourself.

“Reflect and think about what went well. What techniques did I use? Did that work out really well?” Andrews says. “But you can also reflect on missed opportunities. What are some things that I maybe could do better?”

Brian Weber is a Denver-based freelance writer.

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